In a recent anonymous post entitled Man troubles..... I was asked the following:
"I have been casually dating someone for 5 months now, but he is terrible at returning calls, or text messages. Should I pull back and appear to not be as interested... so that he realizes what he is missing out on?"
Well, after we analyze this a little bit we can go about this a couple ways.
- By causal dating I assume you mean (1) you and Mr. X have agreed to see other people while dating each other OR (2) your are exclusive with out making a big "to do" with your dating.
Answer to your question if causal means 1 -
-Mr. X has probably taken advantage of the "seeing other people" agreement. He might just have himself one or more girlfriends. If this is true then you can assume that if you are the girl he has been dating the longest you are being placed on the back burner. He will want to be with the new girl(s) until it gets old. He is also probably trying to get his plans set for the weekend or date night before he calls you back. If you are on the back burner you take the least priority so he will see if someone else wants to do something before returning the call.
* In this case you should pull back; become nonexistant. Call up some friends go out with out him and have a good time. Get a date! Have a fun time. Maybe he will call, maybe he won't. Either way you win.
-Mr. X isn't interested. I know how it is. You might not want to face this, but when guys don't call and stop the communication. 90% of the time they just aren't interested anymore but don't want to tell us so they ignore us and assume we will go away. Eventually we will. I know it has been done to me before.
*Same thing as above. I would go out and forget about him. Let him call you, but don't be surprised if he never calls again.
Answer to your question if causal means 2-
-He has probably taken the thought of not getting too attached seriously while you have become attached to him, as must females do. Men are physical creatures while women are feeling creatures. Men are fine while their physical needs are being met and things aren't getting stale. While women get attached to men who make us feel good and once they aren't making us feel like they used to we still hang in there for some unknown reason. That kinda explains the reason women will stick by a man even if they are being abused. Off topic but true.
*In this case I would just call him up and ask him what the heck is going on. Ask him why he has been negligent in returning you calls and texts. Tell him he needs to be straigh forward with you because if he isn't interested anymore then you need to get on with your life. Say it in a why that will make him feel comfortable telling you, not like I would and threaten it out of him.
All of this said I would do it the old fashion way:
CALL HIM UP, ASK HIM WHAT THE DEAL IS, GO OUT, AND HAVE A GOOD TIME.
Good Luck & Best Wishes,
Cybil - Saving the world one post at a time.
P.S. Speaking to man friends - they don't like games. Call him. Don't tease him by not calling. If he isn't calling you know (1) He isn't interested or (2) he has some sort of stress he is dealing with.