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Dear Cybil,

My ex roommate was unemployed for several months last year, during which time I was very supportive and paid her share of rent and utilities. I don't even know the exact figure of how much she owes me, but I am sure it is upwards of $2000. She has been employed now for a few months and she promised me that back payments would start coming, but that has yet to happen.

Now, I am not in any dire need of money. I can live frugally and get by, but I would like to enjoy my life - take trips, go out to dinner, drink good beer. And I used a chunk of my savings to get her through her tough time and feel like she needs to at least make an effort to pay me back.

Here's the problem... her name was never on the lease so she has no legal obligation to pay me. Obviously she doesn't feel a moral obligation... so what I need is a way to guilt her into giving me some of the money back. I need something to tell her why I need it so that she can't say no without sounding like a complete bitch. It's alright if it's a little lie or an exaggeration of the truth, but big lies I'm really not good at, and she does still read my live journal so she would know it wasn't true if it's something that should significantly affect my life.

What do I do?

- Used and broke in AZ
 
 
 
 
 
 
How can I go about hiding/getting rid of hickies on my neck (and shoulder)? I haven't had any in quite a long time and I think I might've attempted make-up and turtlenecks . . . but it's a bit warm for a turtleneck and my concealer stick and foundation are too dark for my neck. Is there any kind of special make-up or some other trick I can use? I wish I wore scarves, but even then I don't know if that would cover 'em up that well. :o/ Any way, thanks for any help!
 
 
 
 
 
 

In a recent anonymous post entitled Man troubles..... I was asked the following:

"I have been casually dating someone for 5 months now, but he is terrible at returning calls, or text messages. Should I pull back and appear to not be as interested... so that he realizes what he is missing out on?"

Well, after we analyze this a little bit we can go about this a couple ways. 
- By causal dating I assume you mean (1) you and Mr. X have agreed to see other people while dating each other OR (2) your are exclusive with out making a big "to do" with your dating. 

Answer to your question if causal means 1 -
-Mr. X has probably taken advantage of the "seeing other people" agreement. He might just have himself one or more girlfriends. If this is true then you can assume that if you are the girl he has been dating the longest you are being placed on the back burner. He will want to be with the new girl(s) until it gets old. He is also probably trying to get his plans set for the weekend or date night before he calls you back. If you are on the back burner you take the least priority so he will see if someone else wants to do something before returning the call. 
* In this case you should pull back; become nonexistant. Call up some friends go out with out him and have a good time. Get a date! Have a fun time. Maybe he will call, maybe he won't. Either way you win.
OR
-Mr. X isn't interested. I know how it is. You might not want to face this, but when guys don't call and stop the communication. 90% of the time they just aren't interested anymore but don't want to tell us so they ignore us and assume we will go away. Eventually we will. I know it has been done to me before. 
*Same thing as above. I would go out and forget about him. Let him call you, but don't be surprised if he never calls again.

Answer to your question if causal means 2-
-
He has probably taken the thought of not getting too attached seriously while you have become attached to him, as must females do. Men are physical creatures while women are feeling creatures. Men are fine while their physical needs are being met and things aren't getting stale. While women get attached to men who make us feel good and once they aren't making us feel like they used to we still hang in there for some unknown reason. That kinda explains the reason women will stick by a man even if they are being abused. Off topic but true. 
*In this case I would just call him up and ask him what the heck is going on. Ask him why he has been negligent in returning you calls and texts. Tell him he needs to be straigh forward with you because if he isn't interested anymore then you need to get on with your life. Say it in a why that will make him feel comfortable telling you, not like I would and threaten it out of him.


All of this said I would do it the old fashion way:
CALL HIM UP, ASK HIM WHAT THE DEAL IS, GO OUT, AND HAVE A GOOD TIME. 

Good Luck & Best Wishes, 
Cybil - Saving the world one post at a time.

P.S. Speaking to man friends - they don't like games. Call him. Don't tease him by not calling. If he isn't calling you know (1) He isn't interested or (2) he has some sort of stress he is dealing with.

 
 
 
 
 
 
If you do not have a Live Journal or wish to remain anonymous, you may post your questions in a comment on this thread and Cybil will create a new post with a response.

Thank you!
 
 
 
 
 
 
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